Lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting on how much has changed about me mentally, spiritually, and physically. I did some growing up on my own, grew so much deeper in the faith and with my relationship with God, and gained weight - HAPPY weight...which I intend to lose eventually. I gave my room a makeover in the beginning of summer. I was taken to the hospital twice: once in Florence and the 2nd time around at home. Had surgery for the first time ever. Had my heart broken when my brother was sent to the hospital a week after me. Watched him get married a few days after. Daily Mass became a non-negotiable. Grew apart from some people. Grew closer to others. I've been reading a lot more books than the usual. I've met some of the most inspiring people ever. I witnessed God move through the leaders of our nation and am still being constantly reminded by the Lord about how crucial the Eucharist is/should be in our lives.

This may already seem a bit lengthy but there's so much more that went on with my life within these past seven months. And most of them, if not all, I didn't see coming. Ever since my last entry, I've really been trying to put together a blog. In fact, I've jotted down several topics I wanted to write about but it didn't come through for some reason. After reflecting about the things that happened this past year, I didn't want all of these thoughts to go to waste. Writing this was more of a reminder to myself about how GLORIOUS God has been to me...and the year isn't even over yet! What happened so far this year were simple affirmations of how my life can be so wonderful if I keep on allowing God's will to be done. I'm happy because God is so faithful! He's always been and always will be. Siiiiigh.



Make your heart as happy as mine and listen to this song =)


"If indeed what I am saying is true,
and this is what the Church says,
then our hearts need to start burning
with a deeper understanding of who and what
this Eucharist is."


TRUUUUUE! More to come of this...

 

- from iGoogle

How To Survive a Nuclear Attack
http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Nuclear-Attack

8. Ration your supplies. You will need to ration to survive, obviously; therefore you will eventually expose yourself to the radiation (unless you are in a specific shelter with food and water).

• Processed foods are okay to eat, so long as the container has no punctures and is relatively intact.
• Animals may be eaten but, they must be skinned carefully with the heart, liver and kidneys discarded. Try not to eat meat that is close to the bone, for bone marrow retains radiation.
  
  
  • How to Eat Dove or Pigeon
  • How to Eat Wild Rabbit

 

 

Man, that's intense. Reading that just reminded me about how I ate a horse this past weekend in Sicily. It was actually yummy too. 'sigh'

 

 

ANYWAYS, just a few hours ago, I purchased a pamphlet on how to recite the Rosary in Italian. Now I can recite the Chaplet AND the Rosary in Italian. Who's excited?? I AM!

3/4

Jesus spent forty days in prayer before beginning his public life. He often retired alone and spent the night in silence and prayer.

The fruit of silence is prayer.
The fruit of prayer is faith.
The fruit of faith is love.
The fruit of love is service.
The fruit of service is peace.

Let us provide each other an atmosphere of peace and quiet which will facilitate prayer, work, study, and rest.

3/6

"I can't live without the Eucharist" - dM

Just imagine what life would be without the Eucharist. I don't think any of us would be here without the Eucharist.

3/7

God is the friend of silence. His language is silence.
We need to be alone with God in silence to be renewed and to be transformed. Silence gives us a new outlook on life. In it wer are filled with the energy of God himself that makes us do all things with joy.


3/10

Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the higest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong fo wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and everyone else.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire; do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil.


3/11

her profound humility
her lively faith
her blind obedience
her continual mental prayer
her mortification in all things
her surpassing purity
her ardent charity
her heroic patience
her angelic sweetness
her divine wisdom


"...and his mother kept all these things in her heart."

So I've been looking over my notes from Italian class for awhile now. Finally felt like filling out that darn 25 facts survey nonsense from Facebook. Instead of writing facts about myself and my life in general, I thought it'd be fun to list facts, observations, and thoughts about my life here in Florence thus far. I'll even count in Italian for you.

UNO
I haven't driven in weeks! Kinda miss driving but I'd never want to drive here. Walking is awesome anyways.

DUE
For some odd reason, I think there's crack in the cereal here. Or possibly the milk? Okay, maybe not really crack. Whatever's in it, we're addicted. We stocked up on Corn Flakes so that we don't have to keep making trips to the grocery store ever so often. I wonder how long this'll last.

TRE
Speaking of addiction, another one is... Nutella.

QUATTRO
It's SO cold in our apartment! Our apartment is pretty big so it's understandable to why it takes forever to warm the place up. Actually, I'm just being nice. The heater doesn't turn on nearly as often as the heaters do back home. The warmest room is the kitchen. Enjoy the warmth of your heaters, Americans! That's one thing I miss so much, haha. Definitely looking forward to warmer weather.

CINQUE
We don't have a dryer in our apartment. We hang our clothes on the heaters. I am very thankful that we have a washing machine, though.



SEI
I really want to learn how to speak fluently in Italian. One major goal I must accomplish before leaving!

SETTE
(Most) Italians don't move out of the way when walking on sidewalks. Majority of the time I have to wrestle my way through. I don't understand that.

OTTO
I recently joined a group for young adults at the Duomo called Society of Saint Thomas More. Awesome people, awesome priest, awesome activities. Thank you, Lord. =)

NOVE
(Specifically to Alan) I'm going to a Fiorentina futbol game this Thursday!!!! Happy? I am! I'm super excited, too. I still need to buy me a scarf, hoodie, or jersey. Some dude in my Italian class said it's gonna be a good game. Fiorentina's up against Ajax Amstedam.

DIECI
I've consumed wine and cheese almost every day. If not every day, then multiple times throughout the week. Sometimes even thrice a day. It varies.

UNDICI
My roommate does most of the cooking. I help out most of the time but I pay my dues by washing the dishes, which I don't mind.

DODICI
My clothes always smell like smoke. Ugh.

TREDICI
A lot of people here own dogs. Cats, not so much.

QUATTRODICI
The sewage near my street always smells like poop.

EDIT: But I guess I wasn't as clear as I was hoping to be. Let me elaborate... ummm on second thought, nevermind. IT SMELLS LIKE "DOO DOO PIE JONES".



QUINDICI
At school, I signed up for the Dance Club and the "Slow Drink" Club. I'm excited.

SEDICI
Receiving mail is a great feeling! Mail me something please! =)

Fatima Estorninos
c/o Scuola Lorenzo de' Medici
Via del Melarancio, 6/R
Firenze, Italia 50123

DICIASSETTE
Another addiction (how could I forget??): KINDER CHOCOLATE. It's rare back home.

DICIOTTO
I'm really looking forward to traveling to other cities in Italy. As of now, aside from Italy, I'll be going to Austria (Vienna), Switzerland (St. Mortiz and the Como Lake), and France (Nice, Monte Carlo, and the French Riviera). I'm going to Vienna for the SFC European Leaders' Forum the first weekend of April (thanks for the prayers!!!). The last two trips are provided by LdM. A trip to Lourdes, Lisieux, and Paris is still in the works. Fatima would be amazing as well but it seems unlikely to happen. What am I saying?? It's possible. Look at where I am right now! =)

DICIANNOVE
God is still spoiling me, spoiling me with blessings! I love it.

VENTI
I finally got to sit down with a new, good friend and had a great talk about God and anything related to God in our lives. Haven't had a conversation like that in so long. Hoping for more of those... and free pizza and wine. =)

VENTUNO
I remember eating the best tiramisu ever (in my opinion) on my family's first cruise in 2005. Since then, I've never had the same kind. On Saturday, fate stepped in. I ordered it for dessert, hoping it would be the one. And it was. So mmm mmm good.

VENTIDUE
All of my teachers say "allora" a lot. I was told that it's a filler.

VENTITRE
One of my favorite parts of my day is walking past the Duomo, the cathedral here in Florence. It's so beautiful. I probably look like a tourist each time I pass it because I'd always stop and stare at it in awe.



VENTIQUATTRO
There are so many churches here, which I love. I'd walk through town and pass by so many. I'm gonna really try to attend Mass at each one at least once while I'm here.

VENTICINQUE
All daily morning masses (that I know of) are said in Italian, of course. Aside from my goals of speaking Italian fluently and attending Mass at each church here, speaking in Italian for mass would be so awesome. I guess this goal sorta goes back to #6? Speaking is one thing, but understanding is another. I can always look over the readings, responsorial psalm, and gospel before mass. The only problem is the homily. So...make that speaking AND understanding Italian.

You would think that I'd get homesick from staring at these. God instilled peace in my heart to leave home with hopeful happiness, knowing that I'll have all of you, and more, to come home to soon. So I stare at the photos with a big smile because I am reminded that I am incredibly blessed to have each of you in my life. You've all taught me different things; things that have either impacted my life in enormous ways and even in little. Some I've only met and got close to recently, others I've known my whole life. But regardless of measurements or time, you've all helped me become who I am today. Prior to the flight out of DC, I was very nervous about living on my own and being away from my family and friends, considering the fact that I've never left once before. But by the grace of God, the nervousness disappeared and it's actually not so bad at all, not even all the way here in Italy. He was well aware of my intentions and He answered them.

Aside from working hard this semester abroad to get the grades I will deserve, and aside from the traveling and sightseeing aspect of the trip, I was originally really looking forward to being alone so I have time to myself to reflect on where I'm at in regards to my spiritual life and deepening my relationship with Him. God wasted no time whatsoever and got to work with my life here, in Florence. I could recall last summer when I'd tell people that there's so much more to learn about the Catholic faith and how it would be a lofty task to take in everything in such a short period of time. I'd always remind myself, "God willingly, I'll be back." And to my ultimate surprise, I'm back. I'm here.

I told my mom in a surprise letter that I left in her bag that God's plans are always better than ours. We can say this, plan that, and it'll go through most of the time, but none of those plans can equate to His. I gave myself a couple of years to be back here. He gave me 7 months. 7 months? So soon! Like I always said before, it's as if He wants me to be here. Weeks leading up to my departure I would persistently ask God, "why?" Not as any kind of a complaint, but as a way of appreciating His blessings, of course.

And now, I feel that I'm beginning to understand why I'm here. Although I'm apart from the ones I love most, being alone also has some advantages. Of course it's a lot more challenging when you're not in your comfort zone and don't have the usual people encouraging you to maintain particular habits, but I'm totally up for it. Praise God for taking me out, for helping me remember that it should be a lot less focus on self and a whole lot more on Him.

While writing this entry, I came across this excerpt from the book The Radical Cross:

I left home with bits and pieces of baggage remnants but I'm ready to lift it all up. The crosses I left for Christ to carry, I am now taking them on my own while He is there to walk with me, talk with me, and endlessly encourage me to continue on. I am here to seek Him and to strengthen that companionship. What better way to drive myself to seek God and God alone when I have no one else? It's all starting to make sense now.

I received an email from a brother a couple of days ago and he ended his email saying, "just remember to keep your eyes on Christ!". That's exactly what I needed to hear. It simply reinforced everything I've been meditating on. Above all, I'm longing for holiness. I want to be holy.

Last Saturday, I attended my first Mass in Florence, which happened to be in English. The message that called out to me in particular was from the 2nd Reading, Corinthians 7:32-35. In short, "an unmarried woman, like a young girl, can devote herself to the Lord's affairs; all she need worry about is being holy in body and spirit... I say this only to help you, not to put a halter round your necks, but simply to make sure that everything is as it should be, and that you give your undivided attention to the LORD."


There you go. There's the answer (may or may not be His complete answer, I'm not too certain yet) that I've been persistently asking for. He provided once again. I now know. I now know the purpose of my being here.

The first step to holiness is to will it. Sanctity consists in nothing else but firm resolve, the heroic act of a soul abandoning herself to God. By an upright will, we love God, we choose God, we run toward God, we reach Him, we possess Him.
- Saint Thomas Aquinas






Holiness is my goal... one step at a time.
Totus Tuus.